It's been many many MANY months since my last confession. Today I was jarred in the soul by the voice of J. Tillman
of Fleet Foxes fame. He sang three songs for the folks at Relix Magazine and I was fortunate to be working there with CID today. He opened his mouth to sing, pure beauty came out, and my eyes filled with tears. It was the first time in a long time that I had been that
close to something so staggeringly beautiful.
Or was it?
"Inspiration, move me brightly..." We all know these words but just last weekend they were sung with full, loud voices by my dear friends around a table at the wedding for dear friends' wedding in Mexico. All faces beaming all around the table. I, myself, was just recently married too. My wedding was a dream, beyond dreams. It was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I married an amazing man that I love and will love forever. And this was just months after the wedding of one of my best friends - a couple that we can envision our future with, raising children. Friends having babies, raising babies. Falling in love. Loving. Hurting. Laughing. Crying. Hugging. Feeling. FEELING everything.
And music? Well, Phish
returned. That sure was nice of them. This came during a time when I was on a Ryan Adams Only diet so I guess that was a healthy transition, relatively speaking. Other than this? I've found a few pieces of music that have floated my boat so to speak but LIFE has been the driving force these days. Music has not been the one dictating which way to go.
I am finding joy in making a chicken dinner. In building new shelves for my new dishes. Looking at new neighborhoods with my new husband to find a place for our new life and the family we will raise. I enjoy spending time with my parents who have given me so much love and support and I am beyond grateful. (Ok, yes, I have been deeply enjoying The Phish Band's return as well.)
So, thanks J. Tillman, for knocking something loose inside of me today. For some reason, I was sitting on the subway after lugging a huge bag from Bed, Bath & Beyond and thinking about spitting out some words. Writers block? Maybe. Maybe there's just been too much going on. Too much goodness, stress, love, happiness, emotions, confusion, excitement, nervousness, joy, up, down, this way, that way...
Sorry for staying away so long. I will try to be better at keeping in touch. Say hello to your family. Have a great Thanksgiving if I don't talk to you before.